**Be The Best that You Can Be..

“Don’t try to squeeze everybody into your little box. And don’t allow anyone else to cramp your style.”

  We may have always said this to ourselves over and over again. But sometimes we still become discontented and tend to compare ourselves to other people. Often times we feel insecure because we don’t have physical, emotional strength, prosperity, fame, or intellectual traits that some people have.

 I was a bank teller for almost six years. I had miscarriage on my first baby and my doctor said I have a bicornuate uterus and there was a slim chance for me to have a child. So she suggested me to give up my work and have full rest. Now that I am a single mom with my two kids, my relatives who are professionals now sometimes tells me to go back to work. I was indeed thinking about it but I had second thoughts. After what my kids have been through they need more of my time and care now.

 Some of them would suggest for me to have a business of my own and to do things or to do that grrrrr...I do accept advices but I dislike people trying to manipulate my actions. I am a person who has always been open to change but as of now my kids are one of my top priorities . They need healing and with it comes my care and attention at this time.

 Certainly, all of us should be open to wise counsel. But I also believe that it is still our choice.  We are all free to run our own race.

Yes, sometimes I would envy my relatives and friends having their own salary where they can buy and go anywhere they want. I would look back and remember when my career was on its right track and have regrets of resigning because I was about to be trained as a bank cashier back then..But now one thing that I realized, there is no sweetest and most noble job of being a Mom..A single Mom. When I will leave this world, my two kids and future kids will be my legacy. As a Mom I feel it is so important to raise them to whom they should be and to give them all the love and care that they deserve to have.

I have experienced a fast and busy life of being a working girl on the top of my career. Now I know God is teaching me to slow down a bit and just enjoy and be contented with the life that I have now. I may not have the highest paid career, I may not be the world’s best mother, I may not be a perfect lover and I may not be a woman whom everyone wishes to be... Yes, I am Not Perfect..But still I am determined to adjust and be the best that I can be most specially for my love ones!!!..I am a Mom and if this is the profession that God has intended me to have now, as far as I am concerned, I’m number one and I know I am doing the BEST    that I can!

God has His own individual plan for each of our lives. Just because something works for somebody else doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to work for you. I believe each of us have been given different task and mission in life.

 Let us all learn to run our own race and quit looking on what everybody else is doing. We can take pride in ourselves without comparing ourselves to anybody else. Let us be the best that we can be on whatever field we are into, then I can guarantee we will feel good about ourselves!

Dear Lord,

I have a lot of imperfections in my life and even if I want to be the best..I still fail a lot of times..Lord I am just me..I commit mistakes..I am humbly bowing to you now..Please help me change to the person you want me to be..You alone Lord knows my heart..even if I seem to fail there is only one thing I am sure of..I LOVE You Lord,my Kids and Quiet Angel So Much..Please Take Care Of Them.     

..A Warrior Behind a Mother's Last Cry**

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed."  ~L. Wooten

 How can you forgive when you can see your kids still suffering because of someone’s rudeness and violence?

I am now crying while writing this post. Sorry friends..But I am living alone with my kids and now it is past 10 in the evening .. my kids are sleeping .. it is only just my lappy and me. I am now sitting on our sofa with lights off. My eyes are swelling and I feel totally weak inside. My heart is totally bursting with anger and I have no one to tell it too right now.

I was changing the clothes of my 3 year old before he goes to sleep. Then he suddenly cried. I asked him why baby?..He can’t utter clearly the words I have to hear but he showed me an action of a “pitik” or an act of someone who flicks his fingers on his arms and then my baby cried and cried and said “aw” or it is painful mom. I cried and hugged my baby boy so tight.  My X has abused me and specially my kids physically. He would “pitik” or pushes a flip of his fingers on my baby boy’s arms until my baby boy’s arms turn red and cried.

 The worst that he did was when my daughter was still 4 yrs. old he carried my daughter from down stairs and when they were upstairs he threw my daughter on our bed and then he pulled both of her arms up and down and she was screaming because her head was having bumps on our bed while being pulled up. I was crying because I was so afraid that the arms of my daughter would be injured or fractured.I was stopping him and even slapped his face but he was so strong and he was like an evil person hurting her. 

 He will hit her with his belt’s buckle but I immediately ran and hugged my daughter and I was the one being hit at my back. He was hurting them without the influence of alcohol or drugs.He often does it when he gets irritated and tired from work. When my daughter was 6 yrs. old I saw him attempting to hit her head with a bucket and my daughter ran inside our comfort room and I found her shivering in fear and crying..in trauma..at such a young age.There were nights when both of my kids would have nightmares because of what he has done and as a Mom it really hurts..it breaks my heart..

I was so afraid to come out in the open. I was so afraid to have a broken family. But I decided and I will stand up with my decision..I filed an annulment .. “It would BEST  for me to have a broken family than my kids and me being broken in the end.”

In my previous post yesterday-reflections .. I have shared to all of you how I was treated when I was young. My Mom also physically abused me and now seeing my kids having nightmares because of a rude person that was supposed to take care of them it gave me  so much pain. I was physically abused but the deepest hurt that caused me was seeing my kids suffer more than what I have been through when I was young.. he has never been a husband to me..and worst he is their real father BUT he  has never been a father to my kids..he  should have taken care of us but he didn't..

I am a Mom and my kids are one of my strings of life..he doesn't deserve our love..I don't want even to see a shadow of that X..I love my kids so much..I will risk my life and do everything for them..I won’t let anyone hurt them again.. NEVER again!!! 

Lord, I know you are there..Please hear me..Please kindly take care of my kids..they are so precious to me..listen to a mother's cry..always be there for them.. 

**to all of my friends..kindly listen..this song has always inspired me to hold on**

To my kids: Don't worry and have no fear..I am here..I will always be with you .. YOUR MOM IS MUCH STRONGER NOW ..  I won't cry anymore..my sadness is over  
Our pains will surely pass..we will be happy..I Love You :)

**Blessed with a Miracle..

“Don’t let your miracles become monuments”

 I have heart failures and I have a bicornuate uterus – a heart shaped one..it is a rare case..and it gives me a high-risk pregnancy. I had miscarriage once and I nearly died. Doctors said that it would be too risky for me to have a child.

 

  When God blessed me with my eldest I was bleeding and was hospitalized several times. I was talking always to my child to hold on and fight because I want her to live. When I gave birth my eldest was pre-mature-she was seven months. The doctors was amazed because she need not to be in an incubator because her lungs were so strong regardless of her being pre-mature and me being weak when I had pregnancy.

 My second child came and he was again pre-mature-eight months. I was a lot stronger but the risk was still there. My baby boy was healthy but I was the one at risk. My parents were worrying why I was on the delivery room for long hours. I was literally shivering inside the delivery room. I don’t know if I was overdosed of the anesthesia or because of my heart ailment..but I indeed felt I was leaving.

 Here are few facts about having a bicornuate uterus:

What is a bicornuate uterus? A uterus is supposed to have only one chamber. When it has two champers or horns, it is known as bicornuate uterus. Such a uterus is either Y-shaped or heart-shaped. It is the result of fusion anomaly of the mullerian ducts during embryogenesis. Pregnancies in a bicornuate uterus are usually considered high-risk and require extra monitoring because of association with poor reproduction potential.

A bicornuate uterus is associated with increased adverse reproductive outcomes like:

• Recurrent pregnancy loss: the reproductive potential of a bicornuate uterus is usually measured by live birth rate (also called fetal survival rate). This rate is estimated around 63% for a bicornuate uterus.
• Preterm birth: with a 15 to 25% rate of preterm delivery. The reason that a pregnancy may not reach full-term in a bicornuate uterus often happens when the baby begins to grow in either of the protrusions at the top. A short cervical length seems to be a good predicter of preterm delivery in women with a bicornuate uterus.
• Malpresentation (breech birth or transverse presentation): a breech presentation occurs in 40-50% pregnancies with a partial bicornuate uterus and not at all (0%) in a complete bicornuate uterus.

 I have given birth to my two angels with ceasarian delivery and it was indeed a miracle. Time passed by and because of my own personal hurts and painful experiences.. I forgot and took for granted my kids for a while. I still had time with them but not that much. There was a time when I was so  depressed and I forgot ..A " miracle" that God has given in my life.

   Now, even if it is only the three of us I have never been so bonded with my kids. I learned that no matter what you have been through, no matter whose fault it was; no matter how impossible our situation may look the good news is God will restore everything. He will restore my broken dreams..

Maybe we once were excited about a person that God has given to us. But now we have been accustomed as making it as a routine and sometimes we take them for granted.

Friends don’t allow that sense of miracle to slip away. Don’t get so familiar with each other that you take someone for granted. Don’t take for granted the greatest gifts that God has given us. Let us learn to take care of them because they are a blessing..

 ..there are many miracles that happen in our lives..many instances that God has sent someone to touch our soul..may we not forget to be grateful to Him and may we cherish and love the "miracles" that has been given to us :)

well I believe in miracles..so I want to have more babies  weeeee..

..if the world breaks your heart

I will still be here believing in you

..if you need someone whom you can hold on to

I Am Here

..I'll always be here,You Can Come To Me..

..A Beauty Inside Her**

True beauty begins from the inside out. Outer beauty will only appear when you’ve practiced beauty within.

My eldest child graduated from kinder senior last March and she was first in her class ever since she was in nursery. Before we went to her graduation ceremony, my child would be a lot concerned about the way she looks. She would always ask, “Mom am I beautiful, honestly do I look good?” I would smile back and say, “You’re the most beautiful girl in my life and you will always be.” At her young age, telling her that she is beautiful always brings a twinkle to her eyes. 

This attitude of a woman I tell you does not change from her age.  A young or an older woman loves to hear that she is beautiful. A mother’s love can literally make your kids beautiful. A woman will be inspired to look more beautiful when she hears words of appreciation from someone she loves. How could you expect somebody to be beautiful if they always hear rude words and treats them in an ill-mannered way?

Every person I think should realize that every woman especially moms needs at least to be appreciated of the love and service that they give. A Mom does not ask for money in return of her efforts so at least a little attention from someone will not matter much.

Even if my kids and I are the only ones living in our apartment, the three of us are so happy. Our bondings have become stronger and laughter has been our main language inside our house.We dance,play,pray and tickle before we go to sleep.

I am a single parent and the best reward that I get is my kids hugs and kisses.

 My eldest loves to sing and helps me with some of my household chores and has good grades-that’s her own way of showing her love.

My youngest little boy is so cute; he is the clown inside our house. He loves to wiggle and sing out of tune songs. But what I love most about him, my son kisses my heart and hugs me every time I had heart pains.

 I love to stare at them when they are sleeping..how fast my angels have grown and I thank God for giving me such sweet kids..they are my most precious ones..

We are beautiful, regardless what our age is. If you like to see the beauty inside every person it is up to you! Start now by appreciating what someone is doing, saying I love you or a smile every time we go home even though we are tired from work, hugging them and saying I thank God that He has given me a wonderful home. 

Being a woman and a mother must not stop by being just a mom it is a lifetime process of learning. As a daughter, a Mom and a woman let us learn to appreciate ourselves. Wake up each morning and Thank God that He has made you. Each and one of us are created to be unique and beautiful.

Regardless of what we have been through. Let us all learn to look inside us and say I am beautiful, valuable and I am a woman with worth.

I love my kids so much..I will do anything for them..

they will always be my most precious ones :)

**PLEASE watch the video**