Sunday, August 14, 2011

..A Warrior Behind a Mother's Last Cry**

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed."  ~L. Wooten

 How can you forgive when you can see your kids still suffering because of someone’s rudeness and violence?

I am now crying while writing this post. Sorry friends..But I am living alone with my kids and now it is past 10 in the evening .. my kids are sleeping .. it is only just my lappy and me. I am now sitting on our sofa with lights off. My eyes are swelling and I feel totally weak inside. My heart is totally bursting with anger and I have no one to tell it too right now.

I was changing the clothes of my 3 year old before he goes to sleep. Then he suddenly cried. I asked him why baby?..He can’t utter clearly the words I have to hear but he showed me an action of a “pitik” or an act of someone who flicks his fingers on his arms and then my baby cried and cried and said “aw” or it is painful mom. I cried and hugged my baby boy so tight.  My X has abused me and specially my kids physically. He would “pitik” or pushes a flip of his fingers on my baby boy’s arms until my baby boy’s arms turn red and cried.

 The worst that he did was when my daughter was still 4 yrs. old he carried my daughter from down stairs and when they were upstairs he threw my daughter on our bed and then he pulled both of her arms up and down and she was screaming because her head was having bumps on our bed while being pulled up. I was crying because I was so afraid that the arms of my daughter would be injured or fractured.I was stopping him and even slapped his face but he was so strong and he was like an evil person hurting her. 

 He will hit her with his belt’s buckle but I immediately ran and hugged my daughter and I was the one being hit at my back. He was hurting them without the influence of alcohol or drugs.He often does it when he gets irritated and tired from work. When my daughter was 6 yrs. old I saw him attempting to hit her head with a bucket and my daughter ran inside our comfort room and I found her shivering in fear and such a young age.There were nights when both of my kids would have nightmares because of what he has done and as a Mom it really breaks my heart..

I was so afraid to come out in the open. I was so afraid to have a broken family. But I decided and I will stand up with my decision..I filed an annulment .. “It would BEST  for me to have a broken family than my kids and me being broken in the end.”

In my previous post yesterday-reflections .. I have shared to all of you how I was treated when I was young. My Mom also physically abused me and now seeing my kids having nightmares because of a rude person that was supposed to take care of them it gave me  so much pain. I was physically abused but the deepest hurt that caused me was seeing my kids suffer more than what I have been through when I was young.. he has never been a husband to me..and worst he is their real father BUT he  has never been a father to my kids..he  should have taken care of us but he didn't..

I am a Mom and my kids are one of my strings of life..he doesn't deserve our love..I don't want even to see a shadow of that X..I love my kids so much..I will risk my life and do everything for them..I won’t let anyone hurt them again.. NEVER again!!! 

Lord, I know you are there..Please hear me..Please kindly take care of my kids..they are so precious to me..listen to a mother's cry..always be there for them.. 

**to all of my friends..kindly listen..this song has always inspired me to hold on**

To my kids: Don't worry and have no fear..I am here..I will always be with you .. YOUR MOM IS MUCH STRONGER NOW ..  I won't cry sadness is over  
Our pains will surely pass..we will be happy..I Love You :)


  1. Hold on to your faith in Him Sie, be strong! You can do it alone, it will be very much harder in the beginning but later on everything will be okay. I can relate to your misery dahil pinagdaanan ko yan, kulang na lang bato na ang iluha ko, my first marriage was annuled, i am all alone with my eldest son, but i stood up with my decision, here i am now happy and contented :) ibaon mo na sa limot ang pangit na chapter ng buhay ninyong mag iina, start anew! talk to your children heart to heart, better to always tell the truth, do not hide anything from them, andito lang ako Sie if you need a shoulder to lean on :)

    Cheer up Girl! life is too short, enjoy every minute of it with your kids :)

  2. God always listen to a mother's prayer, and specially there is no barrier between a victims prayer and God...
    Sie your a so courageous, have faith a day will come when you see your kids will be successful & great human in future... :)
    Stay Blessed

  3. @Ms.Joy-thank you po Ms.Joy..the hardest part po is seeing my kids having nightmares and it hurts me feeling their pain..every night po I am half awake because I want to make sure I am there always for them every time they needed me.I am also alone with my two kids po and yes like you po I will be standing with my decision till the end.You are also annuled po pala..I am not alone in this battle po..

    Salamat Ms.Joy..your presence and your comment gave me comfort po..

  4. @Asma Khan-thank you so much Asma..yes I believe God is listening and can see my tears.God is there and I know he will never leave us..thank you for your encouragement..I appreciate it a lot Asma :)

  5. Another touching post sie sister yo are not alone your strength*ur kids* always with u like a blessing and you are a mother and you know what if a mother pray with faith there is no power expect ALLAH who reject or may be leting something another good for u your prayer :) don,t feel alone never ever your kids your blessing and your friends always stay with you :)

  6. @Aisha-hello Aisha..true-my kids are a blessing Aisha..I am stronger now and they are one of the reasons why I keep on holding on and fighting the battles in my life..I believe God is preparing the best for us..I am a mom and my kids sufferings are always mine too..but my pains made me stronger to stand up fight back for them..thank you for visiting :)

  7. I am proud of you Sie that you stood up for your rights and did what was right for you and your kids. Your husband was a jerk.. I am glad that its all over now.. so take a deep breath and relax.. everything is fine now and it will get even better with time.. Just have faith in GOD..
    *May God Be With You*

  8. @Madhulika-yes Madhulika I have no regrets fighting for our rights..there will never be a good reason for hurting a person most especially your family..thank you for visiting again :)

  9. Sie I am impressed at your strength. I know it surely builds up when you see the pain inflicted to your children. You did the best, moving on, starting all over again to see a shy smile growing on their face. Some roads are harder than others and it takes a lot of courage and faith to continue.
    Continue to pray, God always listen to mothers cries for help. I'll keep in mines too.
    You feel sadness and pain but your desire to offer your kids a better life than the one you had will push you to the top of the mountain and one day you'll only breath joy and happiness, knowing you have make their journey a much better one.
    Take good care of yourself. With Love. xx

  10. @Marie harmony-and I have tears..thank you so much for your kind words Marie..I am speechless you have said it all..thank you so much..your words gave me comfort..*hugs* lots Marie :)

  11. Ate strong for your kids...
    Make more happier going out and having fun!!!!!
    so that nightmares will be covered with happy dreams...I know you're a strong person and I believe that everything will turn out for the better....

  12. Dearest Sie
    I am so sorry to hear what you and your children have been through. I myself come from a very abusive home but it has made me able to raise my children in the exact opposite way to how I was raised. God has good plans for you and your children and he can take ashes and turn them to pure beauty,you are in my prayers dear friend.

  13. @Clai-thank you so much Clai for your advice..salamat *hugs* :)

  14. @Bonnie-yes Bonnie..I believe that these pains have made me stronger..I will raise my children in an opposite way..never again will someone hurt them..that's why I am holding on Bonnie because in my heart I know God will fulfill His promises to us..thank you Bonnie :)

  15. Sissy, I'm kinda late to read this, I've been away this weekend kasi. Na sad tuloy ako :( Everytime I imagined kids treated like that, naiiyak ako huhu.. I feel your pain sis and I know it's hard but I feel that you're much stronger now. Just keep the faith sissy. *hugs hugs hugs*

  16. You are a strong woman Sie and as I said before...keep it that way. Your children needs it.

    A tight hug for you from me...hopefully it can comfort you a bit.

  17. @ChaCha-hello is really painful sis and as a Mom it hurts so much..but that same pain has given me the strength to fight back and stand for our rights..thank you sis ha *hugs* mwahhhh :)

  18. @Christine-thank you Christine..yes I will stay kids needs me..I can't be weak..I love my kids and I must be strong for them..

    thank you Christine..all of you have given me comfort..thank you so much..I really appreciate it :)

  19. lil boy will forget all of them's alright, just be there for them..turn those bad memories into happiest deserve all the and the kids..
    have your faith stronger..hold on..*huggggss*

    hmmmmm...why THREE kids????

  20. @Beany-thank you so much mean a lot to us..eeeeeee..I don't want to have these tears naman..I guess a message from you always mean so much..yes I will hold on *hugs*

    why three kids?..thinking??

  21. @Beany-thank you..I have posted it for two days now tsk tsk..I guess I should borrow your specs hahaha..thank you..ok nacorrect na po..salamat :)

  22. Sie...this story is sad, but also triumphant. To come from a family of abuse and to stand against it for your children takes great courage. You are an amazing woman to get yourself and children out of that situation and stand strong on your own. I'm so proud of you...and you deserve all the love you have now!

  23. @Ms.Jill-I am smiling while reading your comment and I have a little tear..thank you so much for your comforting words Ms.Jill..thank you for always being there :) you :)

  24. Hello Sie, sorry for the late visit. I feel for you sis, since I'm also a victim of domestic violence. It was a good thing that I was the only one who got hit.

    I'm also in the process of getting my annulment though I barely started yet.

    Don't worry sis, you will surely make it alone. And I'm sure your kids are proud that you finally stepped up as well. You don't need someone like him to mistreat you. We're here for you dear. *hugs*

  25. @Maricel Tan-thank you so much Maricel..talaga ikaw rin po..hay some males are really born to be rude grrrrrr..I agree Maricel and I will stand up on my decision..I won't go back to him whatever he oes..thank you for passing by :)

  26. Oh, my dear Sie! Yours is a tough road to take. Have you considered getting your kids to see a child psychologist? I'm sorry, I don't remember if you've posted anything about this in your previous posts. They are definitely traumatized. Hugs to you, Sie!

  27. @Pepper-yes Ms.Pepper I was thinking of bringing them to a psychologist but I went through it and it was more hurting than I thought..I don't want them to go back and narrate again their past sis..ang hirap..for now po I am building happy memories..more happy and loving moments with them..I just love my kids Ms.Pepper..I'd rather be hurt than them..thank you for your words of comfort..I'm crying now is so hard to be alone when you have been into a traumatic situation po :/

  28. Hey Sweet Sie <3
    I read your comment at my blog, and I checked the article out....Omg...thats very sad...=(, he is mental to do such a could he, from what I read about you so far, your such a lovely person sis, don't let anyone hurt you. I'm happy that this is over right now, and I'm glad that you are stronger. Take care, hugs and kisses from me to you and your beautiful kids xxx
    Keep in touch...

  29. @Black Pearl-thank you so much Dana for your time..I truly appreciate it..Yes one of my troubles in life is over finally it is over..thank you again..*hugs*

  30. Oh, Sie. I had no idea.
    You did one thing right. You didn't deserve to be treated in that manner. You and your kids deserve better. I admire you for having the strength and courage to stand up for yourself and for your kids.
    He just wasn't the right one for you.
    I wish you and your angel, Beanizer will have a lifetime loving each other and that you will never have to go through such a thing ever again.
    I am really glad to hear that you are better now and happy with your new life.
    Thank you for your sweet comment. It was the high light of my morning.


  31. @white witch-hello Heidi..and they aren't the right one for you sis..remember God can see and hear our every cry so don't give up on love..learn from my experiences..your still young deserve the best ok and don't make hasty decisions..I married for the wrong reasons..when I gave birth he totally changed..we all go through adversities in life and you are not smile ;)


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