life goes on

It has been three months and my exhusband have been delaying the money for my kids. I have been texting him but the only reply I get - I have no money because of sooooooooooooo many reasons. I am getting tired of receiving the same replies and I am left of seeing my kids suffering. The deepest pain that a mother can feel is seeing your kids suffering. My kids and I have already been physically abused and now our nightmares are still clinging in our lives even if I am annulled for five years now. The money of my kids have been delayed and now it is the birthday of my eldest kid and my exhusband called but the only word he said was I am sorry but I promise to give you money when I will have my salary because I had transferred to a new job. I just don't understand how can he eat while not thinking about the situation of his kids.

I have done everything of taking care of my kids and giving them the best love that they deserve I just pray that may the Lord touch his heart to give the finances for my kids. Why can't he do his part? We have been into too much pain.

I hate promises..I have heard a bunch even from my past relationship. I guess men are just like that. They will love you when you are whole and complete but they will leave you when you are of no use to them. I don't trust men anymore. I feel sooooooooooo scared of every man..of trusting and even being friends with them.

Huh!! Now I have to be stronger or the strongest for my kids and it is not just because I love them but because I have no choice but to be strong for them because I can't even think of leaving them to their father.

My lymph nodes are also swollen and I have fears of leaving my kids..Lord please hear my cries please..have mercy for my kids..make me stronger for them!