Tuesday, February 2, 2016

*Still here*

Hello Everyone :)

First of all..thank you for all your prayers...I am now taking my vitamins, medicines and eating the right diet my doctor has prescribed. It is not easy dealing with my sickness with all the stress of being a single mom.  My parents and I have decided for me and my kids to go home.  I am sad leaving this place but I can't find any reason to stay.  My ex husband has not already been giving the finances for my kids..my father had a mild stroke last year and four years of staying and waiting..it is time for us to go home.

I have tears in my eyes leaving this place because it was "someone's promise" that I have to let go.  Leaving behind those hurts that I had.  How can I begin and move on if I am still bitter of many things? Until now I am not yet completely healed emotionally. It says in love it takes two to tango...and with my 2 failed relationships I am blaming no one.  Maybe it was just not meant to be. It is hard because I invested and trusted my heart but in the end it was broken to pieces.  Now, I realized I have to be broken so I can be new again and be stronger on the next chapter of my life.

Even if those promises have not been fulfilled I am still grateful because God allowed a person to come into my life for me and my kids to give love and feel loved.  Staying in this place I had friends who made me realize how valuable and important I am in my real world. Blogger Friends who never left me and are still here!

Going home is a beginning of a new chapter of my life.  I have no idea what will happen..I have fears of how will I support my kids financially..what is waiting for me and my kids in our hometown..but I have faith that God will guide me specially on raising my kids. More than my troubled heart on love..my financial support for my kids future and being a mother for them is the most important thing I have to do. On love..I don't know..maybe someday?

I will have another check up..another reason why I have to go home.  My parents and clan are worried about my health..but whatever happens I am ready! My family is there to take care of my kids.  In my heart I know I have been a blessing and I have been true to everybody!
To my friends in blogger..Thank you so much for your prayers and to sis Marie who have been my sister..who have always sent e-mails since day one..thank you so much.

 Always remember  me when you see a Butterfly :)

I have to rest..Goodbye for now..don't forget to smile :)

 I'll start again go back to one
I'm running things in my way
Can't stop me now I've just begun

I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to
Finally stand alone, stand alone

Friday, November 13, 2015


It has been a little while since I visited my blog. I am here TO ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS.  I have 

a lump on my throat and I am afraid that it might be thyroid sis or worst thyroid cancer.  I will go 

home with my kids to have a check up if I will undergo operation. As you have known me through 

my past articles you have known what I have been going through. Trials and trials come in my life

and there have been times that I want to end my life but still in every trial I found strength to fight for

my two kids. I have been annulled for 6 years now..been played, betrayed and my kids and I have 

been physically abused..now I have to undergo again another trial in my life and now my health is at

a big risk. 

But of all this trials I just cry and give up my life to God. I have no fear of dying and facing our 

Creator..my greatest fear is leaving my 2 kids whom I dearly love. I love them so much and being 

a single mom for 6 six years has not been easy but seeing my kids grow with love and kindness

is the greatest gift that I have received. That is the reason why I am here now I BELIEVE IN 

MIRACLES so my friends and dear readers PLEASE PRAY FOR MY HEALING PLEASE

FOR MY KIDS HELP ME PRAY. To all of those I have caused pain I am asking for forgiveness.

I won't be here updating my site because I need to rest but in my heart I know sometime in my life

I have been a part of your lives here in my site. 

Thank you !!!

Thursday, October 1, 2015




Trials test the strength of our faith in Jesus, just as gold is tested and refined by fire. “Such trials show the proven character of your faith, which is much more valuable than gold—gold that is tested by fire, even though it is passing away—and will bring praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  1 Peter 1:7 NET

God wants us to have “Golden Faith”. Steady in the good times, committed in the bad times, trusting in our Savior and Lord, who promises to be with us even in the fire.


Autumn with Butterflies

Monday, August 31, 2015

life goes on

It has been three months and my exhusband have been delaying the money for my kids. I have been texting him but the only reply I get - I have no money because of sooooooooooooo many reasons. I am getting tired of receiving the same replies and I am left of seeing my kids suffering. The deepest pain that a mother can feel is seeing your kids suffering. My kids and I have already been physically abused and now our nightmares are still clinging in our lives even if I am annulled for five years now. The money of my kids have been delayed and now it is the birthday of my eldest kid and my exhusband called but the only word he said was I am sorry but I promise to give you money when I will have my salary because I had transferred to a new job. I just don't understand how can he eat while not thinking about the situation of his kids.

I have done everything of taking care of my kids and giving them the best love that they deserve I just pray that may the Lord touch his heart to give the finances for my kids. Why can't he do his part? We have been into too much pain.

I hate promises..I have heard a bunch even from my past relationship. I guess men are just like that. They will love you when you are whole and complete but they will leave you when you are of no use to them. I don't trust men anymore. I feel sooooooooooo scared of every man..of trusting and even being friends with them.

Huh!! Now I have to be stronger or the strongest for my kids and it is not just because I love them but because I have no choice but to be strong for them because I can't even think of leaving them to their father.

My lymph nodes are also swollen and I have fears of leaving my kids..Lord please hear my cries please..have mercy for my kids..make me stronger for them!


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