Thursday, October 4, 2012

** still hoping and wishing ..


Being a single mom is never easy. I am again inside my room alone with dim lights on and always with my best friends - my celphone and my lappy. This room has been my sanctuary and it holds all the secrets of my life.


I just feel so tired and I have lots of fears for my kids. As a Mom I am so worried for their future. I feel like Giving Up BUT I can't and I won't .. now that we are free from our past nightmares ..


I am still holding on because I know one day we will have our true happiness ..

I know God can hear my prayers and my every cry.

I am still Waiting and Hoping for each NEW day for US


Lord Please Comfort Me .. I love my kids so much .. Please Listen to my Prayers

 

  ..

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

** still here ..


For Love to GROW it needs Distance, Time and Space for BOTH of us to Heal and Learn ;)

I am still in the process of learning .. I know he is getting tired hearing my every cry .. I also don't know how or am I important in his life but still this is who I am and if I can't meet his expectations I don't deserve his love ..

I have always been real and gave my best I just can't pretend to be someone else and I won't change just to let him stay .. if he gives up on me I just want him to know my Love for him won't change ..

♥ 

  I'll wait because I know one day you'll come..I know you will .. I believe on every word that you have said ..

I Trust Him so much and I hope someday all this waiting will be over ;)

  

   



Friday, September 7, 2012

** My Promise ..



True Love is Letting Him Go Not Because You Have Given Him Up..But Because You Realized That Your Own True Joy Is Letting Him Discover His Own Happiness.

Tomorrow is supposed to be our Second Year Anniversary. Beany and I are still talking each night but not romantically anymore. Both of us are friends. Yes, I miss his sweetness, those I love You words before he goes to sleep, the ways on how he takes care of me and my kids. I miss everything but having him as a friend is still a blessing for us.


People come into our lives unexpectedly and some things happen unplanned but each person that comes into our lives..each of them has a purpose and a reason why..For the past weeks I have been crying and until now I can't eat normally but whatever happened I AM STILL GRATEFUL TO BEANY BECAUSE HE HAS GIVEN ME HAPPINESS AND MY KIDS.

Yes, I was hurt and really in pain BUT I'LL NEVER HATE HIM BECAUSE MY KIDS AND I HAVE EXPERIENCED TRUE JOY AND WE HAD THE HAPPIEST MEMORIES WITH HIM.

As each day begins so thus my life begins to see reality. I can't FORCE ANYONE TO LOVE ME BACK AND NO ONE CAN ALSO FORCE ME TO LOVE AGAIN.

All of us are different and even my parents can't say my heart to beat again. Yes, I'll be hurting if one day he says he has found someone new but I am willing to let him go because there are so many girls more deserving than me. Honestly, I have nothing to be proud of..so who am I to force him to stay with me.


Now I know the meaning of TRUE LOVE--it is GIVING..loving someone not because he is giving you back the love and attention you should deserve but still LOVING HIM BECAUSE YOU DO LOVE HIM.

Some say some people were meant to fall in love but were not meant to be together..some say maybe it was not really meant to be..I SAY MAYBE IT WAS NOT YET THE PROPER TIME..FOR NOW I AM GIVING TO GOD OUR RELATIONSHIP..

Let TIME and GOD'S WILL be in control for I know if both persons are destined to be PARTNERS for LIFETIME then IT WILL HAPPEN

This was our theme song before and I AM STILL KEEPING MY PROMISE
MY KIDS AND I LOVES YOU SO MUCH

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

** Silent Whispers ..


My life has always been an OPEN BOOK to everyone. I have ALWAYS BEEN TRUE AND REAL to anyone that comes my way. BUT NOW IT IS TIME TO CLOSE A CHAPTER OF MY LIFE. I have always given my TIME and LOVE to those people who deserves it. I have easily given my TRUST on a relationship even to my new friends but I STILL ended up SEEING THEM JUST COME AND GO!!!


I have always been inspiring other people to go on with their lives and be strong BUT now it is really hard for me to be strong. I CAN'T PRETEND to be someone else. I can't smile while I am hurting. I can't show happiness when I am drowning of sadness. I know LIFE GOES ON but right now my life is like an AUTUMN LEAF JUST FALLEN AND FLOWN BY THE WIND without ANY DIRECTION TO WHERE WILL THE WINDS LEAD IT TO!!!

 

To others they may say SOMEONE BETTER WILL COME but 

When it comes to LOVE I only know and recognize two words.. I give my heart to ONLY ONE and I can stand by it. If the love that I have given was LOST BY SOMEONE it will still REMAIN LOCKED inside my heart. I will be a Single Mom For The Rest Of My Life. 

 

On my Previous Post HE left a song :

It really made me cry. Thank You so much for everything. For making me and specially my kids happy.  Whatever happened you will always be a "GIFT" from God to me and my kids. FOR NOW, I NEED ALSO TO LEARN AND SEARCH MYSELF.
To all my blogger friends I will miss you all. I decided to leave my blogging world for a while. THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your time and friendship. I won't be around to inspire you all but each and one of you remains to have a special part in my heart.

I have always ask God..Lord I am proud to say I have been a good girl and never abused or hurt anyone but why are these things happening in my life? Why can't ANYONE JUST STAY WITH ME FOREVER? The Answer: Because MAYBE I have always been SOOOOOOOOO OPEN to people and trusted people easily. I have to say GOODBYE for now friends. My mind is so confused and I really don't know what to do. 

 

WHY IS EVERYONE EVEN GOD TESTING ME OF HOW FAR I CAN GO?

 

Right now the only one that I could trust and 

HAVE is MYSELF AND

 SILENCE. 

From now on I don't want to let anyone ANYMORE be hurt or be stressed because of the pains and problems I am going through and I won't OPEN MY LIFE to anyone anymore!!!

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