Saturday, November 27, 2010

"God is not finished with you yet"

Before transforming into a beautiful butterfly, we all know that it goes through a lot of stages. One of which is being a caterpillar. Caterpillars are one of the ordinary creatures that you can’t ever imagine being transformed into a beautiful one.

My kids were watching this story about Hermie the caterpillar. It was a story for kids but I was glued watching it. It is about basically being special.

Hermie and Wormie are both caterpillars. Everyday Hermie would wake up seeing his ordinary looks and always ask God why am I so ordinary? Hermie would always wish being somebody. He would ask why God made me so common and he would be envious of the other creatures. He would wish and imagine himself to be like a ladybug with beautiful colors, an ant that is so strong and a snail that has it’s own shell. Every creature that they encounter would boasts something beautiful that make them special and unique. Hermie and Wormie would wriggle under the weight of comparison and they always come short all the time.

One day when they ask God why are we so common and ordinary? God replied to them in a gentle voice. “I AM NOT FINISH WITH YOU YET”.Hermie and Wormie smiled and waited and after a few days they both turned into beautiful butterflies.

Each and one of us go through different stages in our lives. We go through hardships and situations that made us ask God why? Why are some people more capable of doing things? Why are they luckier than I am? Why are they given special talents and I have none? Why do they have a perfect family and why I have none? So many questions but it ends up in questioning discovering life as a whole.

Lesson learned: Like what the story says, “God is not finish with you yet.” I personally go through trials in my life and in every situation sometimes I always God why? Sometimes there are trials that it is so hard to carry. But I do believe in my heart that in everything God has a purpose.

The journey of life for me and for some of us may not be that easy. But I know it only allows us to be transformed inside and out. He is only making us strong and letting us see things in a more positive way that life is good regardless of what we are all going through.

 One Day I can see God pouring his love and miracle to my life and to each and one  of us. In all those trials it  will bring out a New and Better “you”. He will give the desires of our heart. It will make us learn to accept a profound truth that "God loves us just the way we are…and that each of us are indeed special.” He has greater plans waiting, it only takes patience to wait for His perfect time.” “God is not finished with you yet”.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

True meaning of Love

I just love this song by The Carpenters. It just explains the true meaning of love for me. When you love someone there is a big difference between changing yourself so as not to ruin the relationship AND trying to change someone to fit her to whom you would like her to be.

All of us have our own ideal partners in life. But in every relationship we must not only commit ourselves in growing as a couple. I do believe that even as partners each and one of you has your own individuality.

In every relationship it would be best like what the song says to “Love me for what I am for simply being me, don’t love me for what you intend or hope what I would be.” We have also to commit ourselves in maintaining our separate identities and a commitment to grow as individuals.

The song says “If you are only loving me to feed your fantasy, your really not in love so let me go.” It is right because in every relationship it would be hard to be in it if you are always pretending not to be the real you.

It is not hard to change if you have an attitude that needs to be change so as not to ruin the relationship but if the person already dictates and tries to change the real you, always says harsh words and looks in everything that you do is wrong then that is not love anymore, it is being self centered.

Friday, November 19, 2010

My true self

I just could not sleep this night. I was crying in a corner of our sala while writing to you this short article.

I was just feeling so alone and fearful right now. It is so hard to be strong if your life has always been with a time frame. I have a heart ailment and I had experienced several attacks already. I had experienced fainting and I just thank God that I have survived those attacks.

Sometimes I felt so down and now I feel alone and broken. I was always saying to myself “Be strong Sie, be strong for your kids and for those people who loves you.”

But how can I be strong if I physically and emotionally feel so weak and I always battle with time? 

Maybe this is one of the reasons why I always treat each day like it was my last.I always give my heart,love and my ALL to every person who loves me.If one day I'll go then I won't regret leaving the life I am in now because I know deep inside me I have showed the BEST of my Love to each person who loved me.

If I could have just one wish that is for the Lord to give me strength to go on and move on with this journey of life that He has given me. To give me more time to stay and finish this road of life that I am going through now.

I just wish that someday I could say I have passed the test and that someday I would see that silver lining, a light of hope at the end of the tunnel that I am into now.

Love you friends and Thank You…

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A New Chapter Of My Life

I just arrived a few days back from my hometown. I went there to see my parents and relatives to fix some things that have been happening in my life now. If you have just gone through my latest post on my marriage site it says there that I am now in the process of annulment. Many hurts have been in my life, many trials, many obstacles that I have been through.

But there is always something that keeps me going on, it is still having faith and believing that one-day God will give the desires of my heart. I am still holding on to that promise that someday my dream of love and happiness will come. My kids, parents, friends and love ones have given me full support on my journey now. It is not hard to move on with life if there are people like them who always encourage me to look at life positively and as what my Mom had said “Move on it is another new chapter of your life now.”

Being with them and listening to their advices made me realize many things. One is learning from our past and letting go of the past. Learning not to be dictated by our past because if we will let our past dictate our present life, we won’t have any opportunity to look forward to those important things that will shape our future.

I am just reading a book now on past hurts and learning of letting go, allow me to share to you some facts. If you are driving a car and you keep on staring at the rear view mirror, sooner or later, you are bound to either crash or end up in a destination other than what you have intended. How can you move on if the anchor of your ship is still tied on a dock?

Being in and going through an annulment case is like digging those past hurts and burying it permanantly. There have been many questions in my mind but when self-respect, losing your self-worth and your children’s safety and future is the main issue it would be best to let go of that relationship.

Being a single parent, taking good care of your kids and everything in life is not an easy task but in everything if you are willing then all would be an easy road for which you would take. Situations in life come and go, there will always be up hills that you will climb. But what matters most is how do you respond or react to these situations in your life. Are you willing to go on or will you stop? As one saying goes “People, situations, and circumstances can stop you temporarily, but only YOU can stop yourself permanently.”

Lesson learned? It is time for me now to look forward in life with my kids, appreciate the person of who I am now, bring back slowly my self-worth that have been gone for the past 10 years in my marriage, and learn to value of the person who I will be becoming.

Yes, I have been to too much pain even neglecting my own self because of someone who had been closest to me have hurt me the most.And at the end of the day, we all have a choice. My choice is to be strong for my kids and for everyone who loves me,moving on and holding on to promises and dreams. I am not afraid to love again I know God will give a gift I know He will. I am learning not to worry about trying to change the “future me.” But instead focusing on doing my best one day at a time!


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