Restored

Life Happens.

Tears are shed.

Hearts are broken. BUT

God restores!!!

Life has not been easy. I was tired but I never gave up. Maybe a moment of silence, being alone was the key to search the true meaning of my life. I am still recovering from my hurtful pasts. Still struggling from my fears. Currently healing of my physical sickness and emotional pain from my past relationships. Life goes on and on this Season that I am now God made me see not to put all of my trust in people. I trusted too much, loved too much and gave too much to the point of forgetting myself. Forgetting what I truly deserve. Now, though it was painful and agonizing the most important thing was I learned. 

God gave me strength to hold on to the life that I once have taken for granted. I committed suicide last year but God made me see many reasons why I should never give up. I have my kids and my parents..so many reasons why I should enjoy the life that has been given to me.

 If not of what I have been through I wouldn't have discovered that God has given me a talent to Paint. God has blessed me my hands to paint and now it is now one of my sources of income. This is one of my latest wall mural that I have done recently. 

I am sharing my story to all of the readers of my blog to let everybody see that there is always hope in every situation we are in. Forgiveness is never easy but as what they always say time heals all wounds but scars remain. I forgive people not because they deserve it but for me to move on. My kids are my Life and they need a loving and strong mother not a weak one. In God's time I know He will Restore Everything that have been lost. God sees everyone and everything..nothing is hidden from Him. Vengeance is not mine it's God's.

My Scars reminds me of God's Faithfulness

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3.9 c.m. cyst..no financial support for my 2 kids for months because my ex-husband has already a new baby and getting married..I am so tired of people telling LIES and false promises..I am still alive and just silent..friends and past relationships---people don't change it was just their MASK finally fell off..my heart is as hard as stone..pretending to smile infront of everyone..but bleeding inside..thanks to them..WHATEVER they say--it doesn't erase the fact that I have been PLAYED😢..tired but trying to be strong..convincing myself that I can handle all these pain..until when? .. just SILENCE 😢😢

*Still here*

Hello Everyone :)

First of all..thank you for all your prayers...I am now taking my vitamins, medicines and eating the right diet my doctor has prescribed. It is not easy dealing with my sickness with all the stress of being a single mom.  My parents and I have decided for me and my kids to go home.  I am sad leaving this place but I can't find any reason to stay.  My ex husband has not already been giving the finances for my kids..my father had a mild stroke last year and four years of staying and waiting..it is time for us to go home.

I have tears in my eyes leaving this place because it was "someone's promise" that I have to let go.  Leaving behind those hurts that I had.  How can I begin and move on if I am still bitter of many things? Until now I am not yet completely healed emotionally. It says in love it takes two to tango...and with my 2 failed relationships I am blaming no one.  Maybe it was just not meant to be. It is hard because I invested and trusted my heart but in the end it was broken to pieces.  Now, I realized I have to be broken so I can be new again and be stronger on the next chapter of my life.

Even if those promises have not been fulfilled I am still grateful because God allowed a person to come into my life for me and my kids to give love and feel loved.  Staying in this place I had friends who made me realize how valuable and important I am in my real world. Blogger Friends who never left me and are still here!

Going home is a beginning of a new chapter of my life.  I have no idea what will happen..I have fears of how will I support my kids financially..what is waiting for me and my kids in our hometown..but I have faith that God will guide me specially on raising my kids. More than my troubled heart on love..my financial support for my kids future and being a mother for them is the most important thing I have to do. On love..I don't know..maybe someday?

I will have another check up..another reason why I have to go home.  My parents and clan are worried about my health..but whatever happens I am ready! My family is there to take care of my kids.  In my heart I know I have been a blessing and I have been true to everybody!

To my friends in blogger..Thank you so much for your prayers and to sis Marie who have been my sister..who have always sent e-mails since day one..thank you so much.

 Always remember  me when you see a Butterfly :)

I have to rest..Goodbye for now..don't forget to smile :)

 I'll start again go back to one
I'm running things in my way
Can't stop me now I've just begun
I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to
Finally stand alone, stand alone