I just arrived a few days back from my hometown. I went there to see my parents and relatives to fix some things that have been happening in my life now. If you have just gone through my latest post on my marriage site it says there that I am now in the process of annulment. Many hurts have been in my life, many trials, many obstacles that I have been through.
But there is always something that keeps me going on, it is still having faith and believing that one-day God will give the desires of my heart. I am still holding on to that promise that someday my dream of love and happiness will come. My kids, parents, friends and love ones have given me full support on my journey now. It is not hard to move on with life if there are people like them who always encourage me to look at life positively and as what my Mom had said “Move on it is another new chapter of your life now.”
Being with them and listening to their advices made me realize many things. One is learning from our past and letting go of the past. Learning not to be dictated by our past because if we will let our past dictate our present life, we won’t have any opportunity to look forward to those important things that will shape our future.
I am just reading a book now on past hurts and learning of letting go, allow me to share to you some facts. If you are driving a car and you keep on staring at the rear view mirror, sooner or later, you are bound to either crash or end up in a destination other than what you have intended. How can you move on if the anchor of your ship is still tied on a dock?
Being in and going through an annulment case is like digging those past hurts and burying it permanantly. There have been many questions in my mind but when self-respect, losing your self-worth and your children’s safety and future is the main issue it would be best to let go of that relationship.
Being a single parent, taking good care of your kids and everything in life is not an easy task but in everything if you are willing then all would be an easy road for which you would take. Situations in life come and go, there will always be up hills that you will climb. But what matters most is how do you respond or react to these situations in your life. Are you willing to go on or will you stop? As one saying goes “People, situations, and circumstances can stop you temporarily, but only YOU can stop yourself permanently.”
Lesson learned? It is time for me now to look forward in life with my kids, appreciate the person of who I am now, bring back slowly my self-worth that have been gone for the past 10 years in my marriage, and learn to value of the person who I will be becoming.
Yes, I have been to too much pain even neglecting my own self because of someone who had been closest to me have hurt me the most.And at the end of the day, we all have a choice. My choice is to be strong for my kids and for everyone who loves me,moving on and holding on to promises and dreams. I am not afraid to love again I know God will give a gift I know He will. I am learning not to worry about trying to change the “future me.” But instead focusing on doing my best one day at a time!